What Happens When You Call a Funeral Home?

A Step-by-Step Guide to What Really Happens Behind the Scenes**

When a loved one dies, the first phone call you make can feel overwhelming. Whether the death was expected or sudden, making that initial call to a funeral home is one of the hardest tasks a family will ever face. It’s emotional, stressful, and often confusing — especially for those who have never had to navigate this process before.

As a funeral director, I’ve walked countless families through these moments. And while every situation is different, the steps we take behind the scenes are surprisingly consistent. My goal with this blog is to help you understand exactly what happens from the moment you pick up the phone.

Because when you know what to expect, the process becomes just a little bit easier — and you can focus on what truly matters: remembering, honoring, and caring for the person you love.

1. The First Call — What We Ask and Why It Matters

Most families call the funeral home within hours of a loved one’s passing. In these first moments, emotions can run high. People are overwhelmed, shaking, crying, or numb — and that’s completely normal.

When you call a funeral home, here’s what typically happens:

We answer with calm, quiet reassurance.

Sometimes families apologize for crying. Sometimes they begin with, “I don’t know what to do.” My job is to slow everything down and guide you step by step.

We ask a few essential questions:

• Where did the death occur?

• Has a doctor or hospice nurse been notified?

• What is your loved one’s full legal name?

• Who is the legal next of kin?

• Do you know what type of arrangements you’re considering (burial, cremation)?

These questions aren’t paperwork — they’re logistics we need to legally care for your loved one.

Why this call matters:

This is the moment when funeral care truly begins. Even before we meet in person, we are already protecting, documenting, and planning on your behalf.

A personal moment:

I’ll never forget a woman who called me after her husband died at home. Her voice shook so badly she could barely say his name. I gently walked her through everything, one question at a time. When we went to hang up, she thanked me and said, “I don’t feel as lost anymore.” That’s the heart of the first call — steadying the ground beneath a grieving family’s feet.

2. The Transfer — How Your Loved One Is Brought Into Our Care

Once the initial details are gathered, the funeral home sends a licensed funeral director or a transfer team to bring your loved one into their care.

This part of the process is quiet, respectful, and handled with absolute dignity.

Whether we go to a hospital, nursing home, hospice center, or private residence, our approach is always the same:

• We introduce ourselves: We gently explain who we are and what we’re there to do.

• We prepare your loved one for transfer: We wrap or cover them respectfully, ensuring privacy and dignity.

• We may speak to the decedent as if they can hear us: Even after twenty years, I always speak softly to the person I am caring for. “It’s going to be alright. We’re going to take good care of you.”

A private story:

One night, I arrived at a family’s home after they had lost their father. The adult daughter hugged me and whispered, “Please be gentle with him.”
I told her, “I promise I will care for him as if he were my own dad.” And I meant every word.

Once at the funeral home…

We secure your loved one in a climate-controlled, private area and begin the legal and care-related steps that follow.

3. The Arrangement Meeting — Where Decisions Are Made

After your loved one is safely in our care, we schedule a time — usually within 24–48 hours — for an arrangement conference. This meeting can be held at the funeral home or sometimes in your home.

What happens during this meeting?

We go over:

• Vital statistics for the death certificate

• Burial or cremation choices

• Service options (visitation, funeral, memorial, graveside, etc.)

• Merchandise (casket, urn, vault, flowers)

• Payment options

• Legal authorization forms

This meeting can last anywhere from one to three hours, depending on complexity.

Why it can feel overwhelming

Families are grieving, exhausted, and often shocked at how many decisions need to be made.

That’s why a good funeral director:

• Slows the pace

• Offers clear explanations

• Gives options without pressure

• Answers every question

A real-life example:

I once had a family of six siblings — all with strong personalities. Emotions were high, and they disagreed on nearly everything. I let each person speak, mirrored their concerns back to them, and slowly guided them toward a plan that honored their mother.

By the end of the meeting, they were hugging each other. Sometimes, the arrangement room becomes the first place healing begins.

4. Behind the Scenes — How We Prepare Your Loved One

This is the part families rarely see, but often wonder about. Depending on the services chosen, preparation may include:

If embalming is chosen:

• Bathing the body

• Setting the features

• Embalming the remains

• Dressing

• Cosmetics

• Casketing

Embalming is both science and art. It allows families to gather, view, and say goodbye in a peaceful, meaningful way.

If cremation is chosen:

We follow a strict, state-regulated identification process, including:

• ID checking

• Cremation authorization

• Holding period requirements

• Cremation preparation

• Returning the cremated remains to the family

Why this work matters

I’ve spent many nights in the preparation room, quietly working long after everyone else has gone home. And I can say with complete honesty: Every loved one receives careful, dignified, meticulous care — every time.

5. Planning the Ceremony — Logistics, Details, and Personal Touches

Once the major decisions are made, the funeral home begins coordination. This includes:

• Arranging clergy or celebrants

• Scheduling the cemetery

• Coordinating with the church

• Ordering flowers

• Creating memorial cards and obituary drafts

• Preparing music or video tributes

• Setting up the visitation room

We also help families add personal touches:

• Photo boards

• Favorite music

• Special clothing

• Meaningful objects

• Cultural or religious traditions

A personal moment:

A family once asked if they could place their mother’s famous spaghetti pot next to her casket because she was known for Sunday dinners.
I said, “Absolutely.”
It became the centerpiece of the entire service — simple, beautiful, and perfect.

6. The Day of the Service — What We Do That Families Don’t See

Funeral directors arrive hours before a service begins.

We check everything — twice.

• Flowers in place

• Guest book ready

• Casket adjustments

• Lighting

• Music loaded

• Seating arranged

We’re also emotional support.

Families cry in our arms. They ask last-minute questions. They worry whether they made the right choices.

We’re there to make sure they feel held, supported, and heard.

We coordinate with everyone.

• Pallbearers

• Clergy

• Cemetery staff

• Musicians

• Funeral assistants

We guide the funeral every step of the way.

From opening the doors to the last guest leaving, we manage the flow so the family can focus on grieving and connection.

And after the service?

Our work isn’t finished.
We still:

• Transport floral arrangements

• File death certificates

• Follow up with the cemetery

• Complete insurance forms

• Call the family to check in

Funeral service doesn’t end at the cemetery gates.

7. Aftercare — What Happens After the Funeral

Many families don’t realize that the funeral home is still involved even after the burial or cremation.

We provide:

• Certified death certificates

• Social Security notifications

• Insurance claim assistance

• Guidance for veterans benefits

• Information for grief support

The follow-up call

I have always called families a few days after the service. Sometimes they want to talk. Sometimes they simply say, “Thank you.” Sometimes they cry, and I listen.

The funeral isn’t just an event — it’s a part of their healing journey.

Final Thoughts

When you call a funeral home, you’re reaching out in one of the most vulnerable moments of your life. You may feel lost, overwhelmed, or unsure of what to do next — and that’s exactly why we’re here.

Behind every question we ask… behind every form we complete… behind every flower arrangement and every late-night preparation room session… There is a team of people who genuinely care.

We don’t just handle logistics:
We guide.
We comfort.
We steady.
We honor.

Funeral service is, at its heart, an act of love.

If you ever find yourself needing to make that call — whether for a loved one or for yourself in the future — I hope this guide brings clarity, comfort, and peace of mind.

You are never alone in this process.
Not for one moment.