12 Common Funeral Myths Debunked: What You Really Need to Know
Funerals are one of the most universal human experiences—yet they’re also one of the most misunderstood. Because death is an uncomfortable subject, funeral myths and misconceptions often go unchallenged. From questions about embalming to whether children should attend funerals, misinformation spreads quickly.
As a licensed funeral director and embalmer, I’ve heard nearly every funeral misconception imaginable. This article breaks down the most common funeral myths—and explains the funeral facts you and your family really need to know.
Along the way, I’ll share personal stories from families I’ve served (details changed for privacy), because sometimes the best way to understand the truth is to see how these myths play out in real life.
Myth #1: Embalming Is Always Required by Law
The Myth: Every funeral requires embalming.
The Truth: In most cases, embalming is not required by law. The only time embalming may be mandated is if a body is being shipped across state or international lines, or if there will be a significant delay before the funeral. In many states, refrigeration is an approved alternative.
Why this myth exists: Movies and TV shows often make embalming look automatic.
Personal Story: I once worked with a family whose mother wanted a natural or “green” burial. They assumed embalming was mandatory, but when I explained refrigeration, they were relieved. They honored her wishes without compromising the funeral.
Myth #2: Cremation Means No Funeral
The Myth: If you choose cremation, you can’t have a service.
The Truth: Cremation myths like this are common. Cremation is simply one method of final disposition. Families can still hold a full viewing, visitation, church service, or celebration of life.
Personal Story: A veteran’s family chose cremation but still wanted military honors, a church service, and a reception. The rituals were deeply meaningful, proving that cremation vs burial doesn’t determine whether you can have a funeral—it just determines what happens afterward.
Myth #3: Funerals Are Only for the Dead
The Myth: Funerals don’t matter because the deceased “won’t know.”
The Truth: Funerals are for the living. They provide comfort, structure, and a chance for communities to gather in support.
Personal Story: A young widow considered skipping her husband’s funeral to “avoid making a fuss.” She eventually chose a small gathering, and later told me, “I didn’t realize how much I needed that time with others.”
Myth #4: Children Should Be Shielded from Funerals
The Myth: Kids are too young to attend funerals.
The Truth: When explained in an age-appropriate way, children often benefit from attending. Shielding them can cause more confusion.
Personal Story: A boy attended his grandfather’s funeral and placed a toy truck in the casket. It helped him grieve in a tangible way.
Myth #5: Funerals Must Be Expensive
The Myth: All funerals cost a fortune.
The Truth: While funerals can be costly, they don’t have to be. Families have options ranging from direct cremation to elaborate ceremonies.
Personal Story: A family nearly went into debt after being told they “had” to spend $15,000. Together, we designed a meaningful yet affordable service that honored their loved one without financial strain.
Myth #6: Pre-Planning Isn’t Necessary
The Myth: “My family will know what I want.”
The Truth: Pre-planning funerals removes guesswork, avoids family conflict, and ensures your wishes are honored.
Personal Story: Two sisters clashed over every detail of their mother’s service. Nothing had been discussed ahead of time, which created unnecessary tension. Families who pre-plan often experience peace of mind instead.
Myth #7: Viewing the Body Is Morbid
The Myth: Seeing the body is unnecessary or disturbing.
The Truth: For many, viewing helps with acceptance and closure. It allows loved ones to say goodbye in person.
Personal Story: A daughter was hesitant but chose a private viewing of her father. She later said, “He looked peaceful. I needed to see him one last time.”
Myth #8: Funerals Have to Follow Tradition
The Myth: There’s only one “right” way to hold a funeral.
The Truth: Funerals can be personalized. Whether traditional, secular, or creative, what matters most is that the service reflects the person.
Personal Story: A motorcyclist’s service included his bike parked next to the casket and a rider procession. It was authentic, heartfelt, and unforgettable.
Myth #9: Cremated Remains Must Stay in an Urn
The Myth: Ashes always stay on a shelf.
The Truth: Families have many options—scattering, burial, jewelry, artwork, or even coral reef memorials.
Personal Story: A family placed some of their son’s cremated remains into glass pendants. Each sibling carried a piece of him close to their heart.
Myth #10: Only Religious Services Are Real Funerals
The Myth: Funerals must happen in a church with clergy.
The Truth: Secular, alternative, or blended services can be just as healing.
Personal Story: A gardener’s memorial was held in a greenhouse filled with flowers. It was personal and deeply meaningful.
Myth #11: Grief Ends After the Funeral
The Myth: Once the funeral is over, grief is over.
The Truth: Funerals mark the beginning of grief, not the end. Healing takes time and looks different for everyone.
Personal Story: A widower said his friends assumed he was “better” once the funeral was done. He wasn’t. This highlights the need for long-term support and grief resources.
Myth #12: Funeral Directors Just Sell Services
The Myth: Funeral directors only care about selling.
The Truth: Most funeral professionals enter the field to serve. They guide families through the hardest days with compassion.
Personal Story: I once sat with grieving parents long into the night after their child’s sudden death. That moment had nothing to do with sales—it was about presence, guidance, and support.
Why Debunking Funeral Myths Matters
Believing in funeral myths can cause:
Financial strain
Added stress for families
Missed opportunities for closure
When we replace misconceptions with funeral facts, families gain peace of mind and the freedom to create meaningful farewells.
Final Thoughts
Funerals are not just about endings—they are about memory, community, and love. They give us a space to honor a life, to share stories, to cry, and to begin the slow process of healing together.
What matters most is not whether you choose burial or cremation, a traditional funeral service or alternative funeral ideas, or whether you hold the service in a church, a garden, or your own backyard. What matters is that the farewell feels authentic to your loved one and meaningful to the people who gather.
By separating funeral myths from funeral facts, families gain more freedom, not less. Understanding that embalming is not always required by law, that cremation does not preclude the option for a service, and that funerals don’t have to be expensive or impersonal permits families to design ceremonies that reflect both their values and their budget.
And when children are included in age-appropriate ways, when families feel empowered to personalize rituals, and when grief is recognized as an ongoing journey, funerals become what they were always meant to be: a bridge between loss and healing.
Here’s what I want you to remember:
You have choices. From cremation myths to burial traditions, no one path is the “only right” way.
Pre-planning funerals is a gift. It relieves loved ones of overwhelming decisions and ensures your wishes are respected.
Personalization matters. A service that reflects the life lived—whether simple, spiritual, or creative—will always bring more comfort than one based on myths or assumptions.
When we confront and debunk the most common funeral myths, we strip away unnecessary fear and replace it with clarity, compassion, and a sense of confidence. Funerals are not only about saying goodbye—they’re about remembering, celebrating, and finding strength together.
So the next time you hear someone say, “Funerals are too expensive,” or “Children shouldn’t attend,” or “Cremation means no service,” you’ll know the truth. And more importantly, you’ll be empowered to help others understand that funerals, in whatever form they take, are about love, memory, and the promise that no one’s story ends in silence.
